Emilie Carles: A Life of her Own

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 Word Count: 475

From A Life of her Own by Emilie Carles


“The idea of anyone else making my decisions for me was revolting, and I was not at a loss for arguments” (89).

“I know we could have demanded compensation, but neither Jean nor I had the heart to take the necessary steps; we both thought it was better not to look back [...] life was stronger than all the rest” (93).

“When there are children, no matter what you do, it's always the woman who knocks herself out” (101)

“The dead must not prevent those who are alive from living” (107)


Emilie is the first woman we have discussed that lived the societal standard through marriage and children, however that does not mean that she wasn't fighting some of these standards. When Jean came to ask for permission to marry Emilie, her family did not like the idea. The biggest concern for Emilie’s family was that Jean had no money or possessions and during that time the man was supposed to provide in a relationship. In fact, Jean calls Emilie his ‘ant’ because she is the one who puts money away and is more responsible with it. But Emilie loved him and believed he was a good man and refused to let anyone get in the way, in fact the idea of that was repulsive to her. She desired to choose for herself who she would marry and planned to get married without any of her family’s permission or Jean’s family’s permission. 

But even with this love between the two, their life wasn't easy. They had both family troubles and financial troubles. Their first child died in childbirth from a mess up from the doctor. They were devastated from this loss but they decided to live by the idea that it's better not to look back, instead in order to live life freely they must move forward. However, this lifestyle came into question when her daughter died. Emilie was destroyed by it. Jean comments on the difficulty of fighting societal standards saying, “When there are children, no matter what you do, it's always the woman who knocks herself out” (101). Emilie agrees saying that all the weight falls on her. That is probably part of the reason she takes her daughter's death so hard and Jean doesn't. Emilie takes care of her children more often and combined with the stress of taking care of her sister's children and financial issues is a lot to handle. She reflects on the fact that most of her family had died tragically and accidentally, citing her mothers death by lightning, her brothers death by drowning and multiple suicides. Emilie felt depressed and betrayed by God and felt hopeless. She could not get over her daughter's death and could not move on, but with time Jean convinced her that, “The dead must not prevent those who are alive from living” (107). 


Comments

  1. Christopher ThiryJanuary 25, 2023 at 6:49 AM

    The part of this post that I almost included in mine was "When there are children, no matter what you do, its always the woman who knocks herself out" because I also found it important to the rest of the story. While recognizing its importance, I don't understand why she was working and taking care of the kids. She doesn't specifically say what Jean was doing instead of taking care of the kids... it could be assumed he was working, but she also writes about her paycheck being the one the family lived off of.

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