Vera Brittain: Testament of Youth

 Word Count: 466

From Testament of Youth by Vera Brittain

“One had to go on living because it was less trouble than finding a way out, but the early ideals of the War were all shattered, trampled into the mud which covered the bodies of those with whom I had shared them. What was the use of hypocritically seeking out exalted consultations for death, when I knew so well that there were none?” (86).

World War One was a devastating time for all parties involved and Vera Brittain’s account of her experience proves that even further. She had just lost her fiance not long before and had heard about a battle in which her brother might have been in. She knew the outcome before the man came to her door, her brother had died in that battle. 

Her account describes the struggle of hope in times like these. Before she knew for sure her brother was dead she said that she knew it but couldn't let herself believe it. She said, “I couldn't bring myself even to wrap up the Spectator and Saturday Review that I sent every week to Italy, and they remained in my bedroom, silent yet eloquent witnesses to the dread which my father and I, determinedly conversing on commonplace topics, each refused to put into words” (80). Once she finds out, she doesn't seek comfort in the normal things one might look to comfort for during this time, she looks to find out the information and the situation of her brother's death. She almost becomes obsessed with finding out what they are not telling her. She slowly began to realize that none of that is working and that she had to “be sufficient unto [herself] whether [she] liked it or not” (85).

Hope is often a difficult thing to hold onto once you have lost so much. It's easier to simply give up. That's essentially what happens by the end. Her friends seek to comfort her but she refuses it, because she thinks there are no consolations for her brother's death and that life feels so unreal. This despair in a sense took over her. She says, “I walked in a darkness, a dumbness, a silence, which no beloved voice would penetrate, no fond home illuminate” (86). Her reactions and feelings after world war one perfectly describe the state of the country after the war. She says that the early ideals of the War were all shattered because of the devastation. The whole world had to reevaluate their lives and what it meant. Near the end, she understands the inevitability of death, but the end of her story seems to be a more hopeful tone, so she understands that time takes all unforgivingly but it is something that cannot be changed and therefore, she must accept it and continue to live on.