Maxine Hong Kingston: The Woman Warrior

 Word Count: 500

From The Woman Warrior by Maxine Hong Kingston

“The adults get mad, evasive, and shut you up if you ask. You get no warning that you shouldn’t wear a white ribbon in your hair until they hit you and give you the sideways glare for the rest of the day” (456).

“I didn't say you were ugly. You say that all the time. That's what we’re supposed to say. That's what Chinese say. We like to say the opposite” (467).

“I was at that moment telling her my list, and in the telling, it grew. No higher listener. No listener but myself” (467).

“Not everybody thinks I'm nothing. I am not going to be a slave or a wife” (465).

This narrative in many ways reminds me of The Joy Luck Club by Amy Tan because the main theme in both of these stories are the miscommunications caused by cultural differences between how the parents were raised and how the children were raised. Most of Maxine Hong Kingston’s troubles were caused by this divide. Since her mother was raised within Chinese culture and her daughter was raised in American culture, their miscommunications often come from Maxine not understanding the intricacies of her mothers culture and her mother not understanding the intricacies of hers.

The first issue in her narrative is caused by her mother forcing her to confront a delivery man in America for something she Chinese considers disrespectful because of their superstitions. Maxine knew that they would never understand and was extremely embarrassed that she was forced to do this, but her mother even after believed that they understood. This is one example of the way these differences cause problems. Since Maxine was raised within American standards she does not understand the reasons her mother says or does things and she would end up holding it against her. For example, when Maxine blows up at her mom she mentions how her mother called her ugly many times but her mother argues that that is the way the Chinese are, they say the opposite of what they mean. However since Maxine didn’t grow up immersed in the same culture as her mother, she wasn’t exposed to this idea the way her mother was. Without this exposure, there is no way for her to understand these ideas without an explanation. Maxine would often try to ask or understand the way her mother thought but had trouble because the way her mother was raised forbade this type of communication. She says that she would never clarify, only get mad and hit them and leave her to figure out why she was mad at her. Because of this divide, she believed that her mother thought she was nothing and was worthless and even in the moment of confession she still understood that her mother wasn't truly listening to her, that she had no other listener but herself. This divide ultimately caused a lot of damage to their relationship and also to Maxines self esteem since she took this treatment personally.